Quality vs. Quantity
Posted: March 11, 2012 Filed under: Economy for moms | Tags: babysitter, camp, child's birth, children, college, day care, educate, motherhood, parents, providing for a child, quality time, schedule, school, skills, spend time with your child, time, values, weekdays, working mother Leave a comment »I recently read this article in the Parents magazine, and it made me think that time is such a tricky thing. Relatively speaking, it depends on how you look at it. On the one hand, one hour is always sixty minutes, and on the other hand, if it is a happy hour, it seems like a minute, and if it is not a happy hour, it seems like eternity.
We’ve heard about slow parenting, attachment parenting, and tiger moms. However, … I have learned that there is a single truth that applies to any parenting philosophy: Your children need to spend meaningful time with you. They need to see who you are and how you live your life. And in return, they will help you to better see who you are.
When you add up all the time your kids spend at day care, in school, asleep, at friends’ homes, with babysitters, at camp, and otherwise occupied with activities that don’t include you, the remaining moments become especially precious. There are only 940 Saturdays between a child’s birth and her leaving for college. That may sound like a lot, but how many have you already used up? If your child is 5 years old, 260 Saturdays are gone. Poof! And the older your kids get, the busier their Saturdays are with friends and activities. Ditto Sundays. And what about weekdays? Depending on your children’s ages and whether you work outside the home, there may be as few as one or two hours a day during the week for you to spend with them. (http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/positive/quality-time/)
940 weeks to raise a child does seem a lot, but if most of this time is spent on providing for a child, and not with a child, then it is a short amount of time to educate and convey values, and show who I am as a person, not just a caregiver. Even at this early stage of motherhood I realize how little quality time I actually spend with my child; time when I tell him something, show him something, play with him and teach him those first words, steps, and skills. It seems like the day goes by so quickly, and all I had time for was feeding, bathing and putting him to sleep, the rest of the time I was busy working, cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc. I begin to think that with such busy lifestyle I actually have to schedule the time with my child; how pathetic! Or maybe, this is how I can make sure that I do spend that qualify hour with him, and not just be around him for few hours glancing at him playing by himself in the activity center.
Any suggestions on how to have quality time with your children? Any ideas?
To Buy or Not to Buy?
Posted: January 31, 2012 Filed under: Economy for moms | Tags: Andy Kaufman, babies, baby, baby gear, baby hands, bouncy seat, computer, computer devices, consumerism, electric appliances, families, first time parents, friends, friends and family, grandparents, happiness, happy life, loving parents, parenting, parents and grandparents, phone, play gym, pregnancy, relationship, simple life, simplicity, stroller, taxi, technology, things to buy when you have a baby, time parent, working mother 3 Comments »I watched Andy Kaufman’s monologue the other day and thought of a funny analogy.
All you need is a baby to be a happy family, and a stroller wouldn’t hurt… and a play yard, and a bouncy seat too, and a monitor, and a self-rotating mobile… Oh, and a carrier so you could walk with the baby hands-free. The list could go on and on, and the older the baby gets, more things need to be bought. All this baby gear! No wonder we need large SUVs to shlep all this stuff from place to place. What did our parents and grandparents do without all of it that we now consider necessities? The question is should we buy all these things? Do we really need them all?
If you are a first-time parent, you probably would follow suggestions in magazines and start buying one thing after the next. Now that I went through this stage, I’m starting to think that I wish I didn’t read all that media. The fact of the matter is in reality you can probably go by without having lots of baby gear, yet I have to admit that without it I can’t imagine what my life is going to be like. 
A piece of advice I would like to give to those parents-to-be who are looking for stuff to buy, wait until the baby is born, and you realize that you actually need a bouncy seat, or a play gym, or a monitor, etc. Our baby doesn’t even like a bouncy seat; or maybe it’s the one we have, he doesn’t like. When he needs something, he cries so loudly that I don’t need a baby monitor to hear him. He also gets tired of seeing the same toys, so the play gym is good for 15 minutes in the best of times.
I think in the age of consumerism, things are presented to us in such a way that we believe we actually need them. Be it baby gear, electric appliances, computer devices, accessories, etc. Immersed in the society that encourages buying we forget what simple life looks like. There is just no time to slow down and focus on what’s important, because it is so easy to spend free time buying something or looking for something to buy. Stores are open every day and online shopping is always on.
“One thing in life that will make you happy” is maybe not just friends, but maybe it is just life with less stuff and more quality time with people we love. I think simple life is a happier life, less things to worry about, and less devices to plug in, and less items to wash, and organize, and keep track of.
Such a Small World
Posted: January 22, 2012 Filed under: Economy for moms | Tags: Amazon, friends and family, Google+, Internet connection, iPad, iPhone, iPhone apps, iTunes, phone, relationship, Skype, small world, social network, technology Leave a comment »The world is getting smaller and smaller thanks to technology and social networking available to us in most countries. It is quite amazing how far technology progressed in the last few years. I remember using Skype just for audio calling overseas thinking how cool it was to be in touch with my family and friends. Now I can simultaneously video chat with up to 9 people for free using Google+. It makes a global family gathering possible in just a matter of seconds. If living apart from the loved ones in the past meant a heart-breaking situation, today it means they are just an Internet connection away. Surely, nothing can be the same as seeing and talking to someone in person, but I have to admit, video calling is just as good, especially when it is at my finger tips, literally, on my phone.
It’s hard to keep up with technology today, as it develops so rapidly. I constantly find myself checking news articles just to be on top of the newest gadgets and apps. It all takes time, and the question is how to use it all to make my life easier or more efficient I should say. It is really easy to start paying for one thing after the next thinking this is exactly what I need to be able to do what I want. First comes an iPhone, then it is iPad, then I spend whole bunch of money on iTunes, then I start paying for iPhone apps so I don’t see ads and can do more things with paid apps, then I buy books on Amazon to read on my iPad, and it keeps on going. No wonder Apple is the most valuable company in the world! All this new technology comes with a price tag. Although, maybe it is not so bad, as I can talk to my friends and family at any time, and not just talk, I can see them on my phone or computer screen while talking. If I had to choose between paid technology and free postal service to keep in touch with my family and close friends, I would go with technology. Time we spend with our loved ones even if it is only over the phone or a video chat is priceless. I think we are fortunate to have the ability to do that.
Like this:
Babies Are Expensive…
Posted: January 6, 2012 Filed under: Economy for moms | Tags: babies, babies are expensive, baby care, child care, daycare, expensive care, families, loving parents, parenting, parents, price, provide for children, society, working mother 3 Comments »“Babies are expensive”, I kept hearing from so many people while I was pregnant. Now I have a baby, and what can I say? Babies are expensive. At the same time there is no greater joy than seeing my baby’s smile, or hear him make babbling sounds. The thing I wonder is how to make this work: take care of my child, keep working since having only one income is not an option, and balance my work and family life. What do people do when they cannot pay for a day care, or a babysitter, and have to go to work? My advice is to move in with your retired parents who can watch the baby while you are gone all day. There are cultures in this world that view this scenario like a no brainer solution. Unfortunately, or fortunately, this is not an option in our society.
As a parent, I now realize, you want the best for your child, whatever it might be. There is a sense of guilt when you have to settle for mediocre or not give at all. When I come home from work, I sometimes think that my baby does not even know who I am. Not only do I feel guilty for not spending enough time with him, I also feel guilty for not giving him the best care that only mother can provide. I am sure that other people are well capable of providing high quality care, but I am talking about love that mothers have for their children. Many families make choices as to how to provide care for their children. Some choose to have only one working parent and figure out the math so it works out, some choose to continue working and to cover the cost of extra help. For some families these choices come easy, and for some, not so much, especially if the numbers just do not work. Situations like these force people to start thinking creatively, and somehow things just work out at the end. I am in the search of creative solutions. I wish, as mothers, or fathers, we did not have to make these decisions of how much time we would be able to spend with our children. After all, they are babies only a short period of time. They grow so fast that sometimes we do not want to close our eyes, just to make sure we do not miss an important milestone.
